When you are serving God, there may come a time when your faith is severely tested, and your hopes are shattered, so that you realize that your once-fiery passion is in danger of dying. More important, you find that believing in God and obeying him are now very hard to do. You are filled with doubts and questions.
You don’t want these things to happen though; you don’t want to lose your faith and turn your back on Jesus. Nevertheless, no matter how you try to feel otherwise and to believe that God is faithful, you just can’t shake off the feeling that he isn’t worthy of your trust anymore… and that everything you’ve done for him has been in vain after all.
It is really hard, to be in such a place.